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Slide Show - Thank you for your patience
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A
mother is the truest friend we have, when trials, heavy and sudden, fall
upon us; when adversity takes the place of prosperity; when friends who
rejoice with us in our sunshine, desert us when troubles thicken around
us, still will she cling to us, and
endeavor by her kind precepts and counsels to dissipate the clouds
of darkness, and cause peace to return to our hearts.
--
Washington Irving (1783-1859)
 On
Mother’s Day
As
I write this, I am very much aware that my Mother’s Day will be
different. It has been for the past five years.
I still celebrate the Day because I have a wonderful daughter and
a beautiful grandchild. And I am still the mother of the child that we
lost.
But something is missing.
For the mother that grieves the passing of her child, no matter
what the age, there is an aching that cannot be fixed.
This is not the way it was supposed to be!
Well,
along my journey of grief, I have come to understand so much about this
life that God has given us. From the time of our child’s birth, we are
their teachers. We teach them
how to walk, teach them proper table manners, social skills, the
mysteries of life, how to get up when they stumble - all the things a
growing child should know.
We teach them the lessons of life and prepare them to become
adults.
It is our job to teach them how to make it on their own without
parental supervision.
And,
it is supposed to be the parent leaving this world before the child.
We are supposed to go first and make room for them to follow.
One day in March, Richie and I reversed roles. He made his
journey to the other side and I was left here as the child who must
struggle and pick myself up when I fall. I was left as the child that is
unsure of my way.
The struggle has been a hard one.
Like a child that stumbles and falls, I have to learn to pick
myself up when I falter.
And I am getting there slowly.
But along the way, I have come to realize that everyday, God
surrounds us with things that we cannot keep. He gives us things that
make our lives so wonderful while we have them, just as he gave us our
son.
He gives us sunsets, rainbows,
 the
chirping of birds, the stars to light up the sky.
But
we cannot grab that sunset or that rainbow and hold on to it for the
following day.
God only gave us the privilege to experience them and wrap our
arms around their beauty.
I am sure that it is His way of giving us a glimpse of how
beautiful Heaven really is!
And God also gave us the gift of being parents.
It was a gift that enriched my life and so many others. And with
that gift, God gave me an experience that will forever be embedded in my
heart – the bond of a mother and child. Along with the runny noses and
scraped knees, came an ability that would allow me to understand when no
one else could, to calm fears and dry tears. It gave me a chance to
experience what is meant by unconditional love.
Of
course, I have learned to celebrate Mother’s Day in a different way. I
will look for a sunset and listen for the chirping of a bird and think
of it as a divine gift that says, “Mom, you’re the greatest.”
And I will know that the brightest star that I see that night was
surely intended for me.
And I will read and re-read that one last card that I received on
Mother’s Day that says your loving son, Richard, and cherish it,
knowing that it has to last me a lifetime.
But I also will remember that the greatest gift of all was the
gift that God gave to me when he made me a mother. And, I will pray and
hope that our pain will turn to a deeper understanding of the world
around us.
I hope that we will have a deeper joy in knowing that our child
has not left us completely.
I hope that we can look at that next rainbow or sunset and
realize that it is a glimpse of beautiful things to come. So, on
“my” day,
I will remember the gift that I received, even though it was only
for awhile.
But I know that I will one day get it back.
And I will remember all the joy that I have experienced, just by
being “Mom.”
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